Original Date: 1908 Digital Date: February 15, 2010
Subject: Student Activities
Description: A postcard of a poster from the class rivalry between the sophomore and freshman classes in 1908. Text on front: "To the Morgue" "Take Heed,We Want Gore, Prepare for Death" "O! All Ye Webfooted Rubes! Whereas. The noble and aristocratic class of 1911. Your natural superiors and preordained protectors, do hereby order your sanguinary slaughter. In order that the enormity of you unwholesome and infantile performances may penetrate you depraved and inefficient intellects. We condescend to publish a list of your enormities. I. Ye have appeared within the sacred precincts of our campus minus your symbol of vassalage, The Freshman Cap. II. Ye have mediated upon the desecration of the college monogram, by desiring to place it upon your carpet bags. III. Ye have willfully mistaken the clammy precincts of the Dean's refrigerator for the joyless joint of Jonathan the Just (?). IV. Ye have endeavored to intercept the unholy gyrations of Blazie's bike. V. Ye have disobeyed the parental mandate by occupying the front row at the Bijou. VI. Ye have boisterously bounded up the staircases of dear old College Hall, disregarding the possibilities of disintegration of the venerable ruin. VII. Ye have disturbed the meditations of our devout seniors by forcing your unpedal extremities into our already overcrowded chapel and gawped at the magnificent mosaics and frescoes that deck its sacred interior. VIII. Ye have complained of the quality of the nourishing, nutrifying, organic matter and the faultless service of our dyspepsia factories, the Clubs. IX. Ye have shamelessly usurped the upper classmen's perennial privilege of money meandering thru Cupid's matrimonial playground the Wild Garden. X. Ye have shown unmitigated insubordination to your exalted and preeminently paramount predecessors by refusing to masticate "Grandpa's Wonder Soap," and have disregarded the fact that ye are mere worms and rustic runions. XI. Ye have "Disturbed the Peace of the Community" by flaunting before our ocular organs your flaming, flaring, and flamboyant hosiery and cravats, which should not be seen and not heard. Pray and Prepare to meet with such courage as you can muster, the savage and sanguinary Sophs who will smear your cringing carcasses over the grisly gridiron. We will be there to deliver the grim and ghastly goods at the appointed hour. N.B. I. Trams leave for home every hour. II. Pickle & Buryum are our undertakers. Go at once and select your coffin. III. All unrecognizable cadavers can be claimed at Joy & Haite's Morgue. They will be piled in tears. IV. Obituary notices will be published in the "College Lemon" "Class 1911"
Format: jpg
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Contributing Institution: University Archives & Historical Collections, MATRIX